As a ministry and organizational leader, it’s something you should consider.
What does your body language say about you? Are you easily approachable by your co-workers? Have you ever honestly asked yourself how others perceive you?
If you have, then you possess two essential qualities for success: self-awareness and emotional intelligence. These qualities are consistently shared by top performers in all walks of life. The wisdom produced by emotional intelligence and self-awareness makes all other positive traits meaningful and lasting. However, because they both require courage, they’re often (unfortunately) ignored or avoided by many people.
I recently read Justin Bariso’s article in Inc. Magazine that featured new Uber CEO Dara Khosrowshahi’s impressive email response to all Uber employees regarding the company losing their contract with the City of London. It is a true definition of emotional intelligence. Here is a snippet from the article, beginning with a portion of Khosrowshahi’s response:
“While the impulse may be to say that this is unfair, one of the lessons I’ve learned over time is that change comes from self-reflection. So, it’s worth examining how we got here. The truth is that there is a high cost to a bad reputation. Irrespective of whether we did everything that is being said about us in London today (and to be clear, I don’t think we did), it really matters what people think of us, especially in a global business like ours, where actions in one part of the world can have serious consequences in another.”
While Khosrowshahi expressed strong disagreement with the decision, he also demonstrated his ability to see the big picture — including past, present, and future. He resists the temptation to focus on right or wrong; rather, Khosrowshahi helps his people understand how perceptions differ, and the reasons behind this. He realizes that even negative feedback is a gift — because it can expose blind spots and lead to necessary improvement.
When I am looking to hire new employees or evaluate current employees, emotional intelligence (“EQ”) is, to me, as important as intellect (“IQ”). While EQ is hard to define, it comes down to a person’s ability to recognize and understand their own emotions and those of others — and further, the ability to use that understanding to manage their behavior and build relationships.
In our day and age — where more and more relationships exist via text, social apps, and websites — the importance of EQ is severely understated, if not overlooked altogether. Have you ever asked yourself when reading an email, “Is this person mad at me or frustrated with me?” Have you read a tone in the email or text that may not have been intended? This is your EQ coming into play.
The more we rely on non-verbal interactions, the more our collective emotional intelligence and self-awareness will decline. I’ve seen it happen in client-agency relationships, even within some of the organizations we currently serve.
Remember: LISTEN, LISTEN, talk, and then LISTEN SOME MORE. Always seek to better understand what you heard, what you said, and why. That is the only way that your emotional intelligence and self-awareness can be strengthened — leading to better, richer, and more rewarding relationships and interactions.